The Jock Strap Incident…

How Would You Feel If Someone Saw You In Your Undies?

Here’s What Happened With Me and My Infamous Jock Strap Incident…

My sophomore year in high school, a female cheerleader walked into the girls locker room and found me wearing nothing but a jock strap. What the hell was I doing in the girls locker room and wearing nothing but a jock strap you ask? Good question…

You may recall from an earlier blog post, that, despite a severe lack of athleticism, endurance or strength, I somehow found myself on the football team my sophomore year in high school…. Apparently due to a lack of smarts too.

Anyway, we, the mighty Flames of Lodi, CA, were playing at the best team in the league, the vicious  Bulldogs in Tracy, CA. Because the home team obviously used their own locker room, we had to use the girls locker room to get ready for the game.

For some reason I was dressing much later than the rest of the team. Don’t recall why… maybe my nervous gut needed to be emptied or something. In any case, there I was, changing into my football garb, minding my own business in the back corner of the room when I hear all the guys whooping and hollering. This was not uncommon mind you… get a bunch of teenage boys half naked in a locker room and some sort of ruckus would usually break out. Anyway, I go about my business, pulling up my jock strap over the family jewels… by the way, have you ever seen a jock strap? They are not flattering… nor very comfortable.

Next thing I know, a cheerleader (for the Bulldogs) rounds the corner of lockers to where I was and stops dead in her tracks, as our eyes met and we both froze. I’m sure we both looked like a couple of deer caught in headlights… only each of us was the headlight for the other.

Quickly, I gained composure, harnessed my inner Barry White, and said “Well hi there, come here often?”

… okay no I didn’t…

What I really said was “Ahem, what’s a pretty girl like you doing in a danky place like this?”

… you’re right, I didn’t say that either…

I don’t think I was able to utter more than a grunt, maybe an AH or UMM… before she turned beet red, apologized and bolted for the door to wait outside until I was properly attired. I’m sure I was just as red as her.

What’s the point of this story? Not much of a point really… but I got to thinking about it recently and asked myself how I would feel if that happened today. Well, I’d probably be arrested as a 48-year old man wearing a jock strap in a high school girls locker room… but more generally, if someone other than my wife walked in on me in my underwear, how would I feel?

Maybe the best ad ever.

Aside from embarrassed, how would YOU feel if that happened to you today? Also, how would you WANT to feel? If the two are not in sync, why is that?

Please don’t misunderstand me, I don’t mean for this to sound like body shaming. Healthy, beautiful, strong, even sexy comes in all shapes and sizes. The important thing is to be comfortable with yourself. And that is my goal – I help people get what they want out of their lives and bodies, both internally and externally.

Sometimes it’s a healthy diet that we work on together, sometimes it’s a healthy mindset… most of the time it’s both. The goal is always to get YOU happy with YOU. If you could use help with any of this, please do reach out. If nothing else maybe I can leave you with a helpful nugget or two… no cost, no obligation and no chicken (nuggets… get it?).

Oh, and in case you were wondering, we got our @sses handed to us that game. I rarely saw the field, but this game was a big enough blowout that the coaches decided it probably couldn’t much worse, so they let me get in and get pummeled for a few plays. Lucky me.

 

You can do it. I can help. Together we’ll crush it.

When you are ready, I’ll be here for you.

Jeff Spitzer, Nutrition In Focus

 

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